Finding your tribe

Parenting solo isn’t for the fainthearted. From juggling finances to endless laundry and trying to remember when you last had a proper meal, it can be downright exhausting. And then there’s the emotional toll – the stress, loneliness, and sheer weight of doing it all on your own. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to go it alone. Finding your tribe – a supportive community of likeminded people – can make all the difference.

The price of single motherhood in SA

Single mums in South Africa face challenges that can feel insurmountable. A study by the South African Institute of Race Relations (2019) revealed that 70% of single-parent households are led by women, and over half rely on government grants. That’s tough to navigate when 45% of single mums don’t have a matric qualification (HSRC, 2017).

But it’s not just about money. Loneliness is another beast. According to the Journal of Family Issues (2018), 60% of single mothers in SA report feeling isolated, while 65% experience stress tied to financial woes (SADAG). Add in the lack of affordable childcare, and it’s no wonder so many single mums feel overwhelmed.

Why finding your tribe matters

A good support network can feel like a lifeline. Being part of a community – whether it’s a local group, an online forum, or even a few close friends – boosts mental health and wellbeing. Social Science & Medicine’s 2018 study found that regular social interaction reduces the risk of depression by a whopping 47%.

It’s not just about feeling less lonely. Having a tribe also fosters personal growth. According to the Journal of Community Psychology (2019), single mums in support groups report higher resilience, confidence, and even better parenting skills. Bonus: their kids benefit too!

How to find your tribe

Here’s the thing about building a community – it takes a little effort, but it’s worth it. Here’s where to start:

1. Join local groups
Check out single parent meet-ups in your area. Facebook and Instagram are filled with single parent or mom support groups, but also look on the online platform Meet Up.

2. Volunteer
Helping others is a great way to meet like-minded people. Bonus: it feels good too.

3. Hobby groups
Love yoga? Into crafting? Joining a group centred around something you enjoy makes meeting people a lot less daunting.

4. Try friendship apps
Yes, there are apps for that! Bumble BFF and Hey! Vina are great for finding new friends who “get it.”

5. Host a gathering
Sometimes, you have to create the magic. Invite local single mums for a potluck, game night, or playdate.

Overcoming loneliness

While you wait to build your tribe, you can make your life a little easier with these steps:

• Prioritise self-care: Take care of you – read, journal, or binge your favourite

show guilt-free.

• Stay connected: Schedule regular chats with friends or family who lift you up.

• Get moving: Exercise boosts your mood and energy.

• Seek help: If loneliness persists, therapy or counselling can make a world of difference.

How to foster meaningful connections

Once you’ve found your people, nurture those bonds:

1. Be authentic: Share your highs, lows, and everything in between.

2. Listen actively: People appreciate being truly heard.

3. Show gratitude: A simple “thank you” goes a long way.

4. Celebrate together: Whether it’s a birthday or a big parenting win, share the joy!

Remember, you’re not alone

Building a support network takes time, but it’s one of the best things you can do for yourself and your kids. You’re not just finding friends – you’re creating a tribe that lifts you up and helps you thrive. Your tribe is out there. Take that first step – you deserve it.