Many parents will be familiar with the African proverb: ‘it takes a village to raise a child.’ In South Africa, this saying has a unique meaning, given the special place that many ‘second moms’, often domestic helpers, occupy within households. Women’s Month provides the perfect opportunity to reflect on the role that helpers play in building happy, healthy families and how we can reciprocate and take better care of their needs and wellbeing.
More than just a helping hand
My appreciation for the role of women caregivers began in boarding school. As many will know, in an environment where children seldom see their parents, matrons become mother figures.
Today, my daughter’s ‘second mother’ is my helper, and she plays a pivotal role in establishing and maintaining a routine for our family. She is my go-to person in every sense of the term and brings a beautiful dynamic to our family unit. With her help, I have been granted the support structure to focus on building my success and not giving up on my hopes and dreams.
Safeguarding the future of our second mothers
Like many domestic helpers, she has a family of her own, which comes with its own set of responsibilities. In helping us take care of our children, our helpers often sacrifice time with their own. Some helpers only see their children a few times a year, given that many work in cities. The simple act of putting food on the table often comes at a huge personal cost.
Families who share my experience need to consider that our helpers have their own aspirations. My helper wants to build a house in KwaZulu-Natal, and to achieve this goal, she has asked that I save her annual bonus for her until she is ready. I do this with a keen understanding of how empowering it will be for her and her family to achieve financial independence.
Many of us might not consider what would happen to the people who depend on our helpers. I’ve been in a situation where another helper passed away and her family could not afford the cost of body repatriation, and subsequent expenses. In many similar scenarios, employers are called to step in and fill the financial gap.
This drives home the importance of having a financial plan in place to provide a safety net for when the unexpected occurs. Through this experience, I learnt an important lesson about being proactive and taking out adequate cover to provide financial support for those left behind. These products can serve multiple purposes.
For example, a life cover policy is an effective way of making sure that the individual’s family is financially secure after they pass away. It can even become a form of financial freedom for those who are left behind.
Similarly, funeral policies can provide funds for the transportation of the deceased’s body, the funeral, a tombstone or memorial ceremony and immediate household needs.
Pillars of the South African household
Without our trusted helpers, we simply wouldn’t be able to keep up with the pace and demands of life. They are members of our family and should be respected and protected as any other family member would be.
By fostering open communication in my household, we’ve set clear expectations along with the flexibility to thrive. For example, assisting my helper to get her driver’s license.
Now, in the event of my absence, a medical emergency or any unforeseen event, she’s equipped with the necessary skills to fill in where I normally would. From her perspective, having her driver’s license means greater levels of accessibility, more convenience and more independence. It really is a win-win.
I encourage families to consider that the decisions made now about the future should reflect household environments that are more inclusive, safer and responsible.
