How to make your brain truly happy!

By Kerry Rudman, a Neurofeedback Specialist and owner of Brain Harmonics.

by Tia

In our all-consuming, everyday quest for happiness, we often find ourselves measuring it through personal achievements. Yet, real joy, the profound sense of fulfilment, frequently arises in the context of shared experiences. Think about your child’s graduation or the collective energy of a SoulCycle or CrossFit class. These moments are not just about personal milestones; they’re about connection, community, and the joy of being with others

As humans, our happiest memories often involve others. Ask any older person about their most cherished moments, and they’ll likely recount family vacations, gatherings, or shared adventures-times when they were active and surrounded by loved ones. These memories stand out not just because of the activities themselves but because of the relationships that frame them.

Research proves the importance of deep, meaningful relationships for sustained happiness. A common thread among those with such relationships is a capacity for forgiveness. Long-term relationships inevitably involve misunderstandings and disappointments. Those who can forgive, who can see past these flaws, tend to maintain more profound and lasting connections. The most important person we can and should forgive is ourselves so it’s really important to learn from failures and cut yourself some slack.

Interestingly, older people often advise their younger selves to be kinder and less critical. They look back and realize that many of the perceived failures and mistakes weren’t as significant as they seemed. This perspective-understanding that nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears-can be liberating. It allows us to navigate life’s ups and downs with a more balanced view.

Today there’s a growing recognition that empathy and gratitude are crucial for both happiness and leadership. Successful leaders are increasingly seen as those who are empathetic and appreciative. Research shows that practicing gratitude, such as by writing down what you’re thankful for, can enhance your happiness by reinforcing positive neural pathways.

Neurofeedback therapy is one way to help train the brain to optimize happiness through real-time monitoring and feedback. It has been used to manage stress, improve focus, and enhance overall well-being as well as to make you feel happier. By encouraging the brain to develop healthier patterns, neurofeedback supports the mental shifts needed for greater happiness and emotional resilience.

It can also help people to manage the anxiety that often accompanies high ambition. By training the brain to maintain a state of calm and focus, it becomes easier to appreciate the present moment and the relationships that enrich our lives. This can mitigate the stress of relentless competition and the constant drive for more.

Ultimately, the pursuit of happiness isn’t just about personal success. It’s about cultivating meaningful relationships, practicing forgiveness, and developing gratitude. As we integrate tools like neurofeedback to support our mental health, we can enhance our ability to enjoy life’s journey, both alone and in the company of others. In doing so, we move closer to true joy – a joy that is deeply connected to our shared humanity. For more information about Neurofeedback training, please visit

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