TV personality Graeme Richards has been a constant fixture in many of our lives. He is probably best known for his upbeat persona. Married to professional ballroom and Latin dancer Lindsey Muckle and a dad of two, Graeme is on his most adventurous journey yet – a family man! He shares with Baby’s & Beyond his journey of being authentically himself, embracing emotions, leaning into the crazy and the importance of being grateful.
You have been a constant fixture on the telly for many South Africans. Is spending such a long time in the public eye daunting?
It has its moments, but the privilege of having the platform is far more incredible than any pitfalls. The funny part is that I have been on air and lived out far more of my real-life moments on TV than off it. It has given me access to a life-changing, paradigm-shifting, and enlightening path, and I am so blessed to “live” with so many others.
Who is the most inspirational person you have met and why?
Many have made their mark in the tens of thousands of interviews I’ve done. I’ve forgotten more of the “high profiles” than I can remember, but the one interview I am taken back to daily was with a young man few will ever know of.
Sorry to go to a dark place, but he, barely an adult himself and, by his own and our standards, a societal dropout, was shunned and found his “last chance” as a volunteer at a rape crisis centre, responsible for getting critical evidence from children who were too young to speak for themselvesat the time of their unimaginable trauma. This could only be achieved by repeatedly putting himself in the most traumatic space I have ever encountered and could only bear for a few moments (and then needed weeks off air to recover mentally and emotionally). He was thecritical factor in the successful prosecution of over 50 sexual offenders and murderers who would, without a shadow of a doubt, have repeated their crimes on children.
Who knows how many since then and how many children he has potentially saved from this fate… hundreds! He had no idea how amazing he and his contribution were. Fame does not matter; your social impact is the thing.
Having been in the public eye for such a long time, what would surprise people about you?
For someone gifted such a remarkable and long tenure in the role and now primed to enter my prime, I break mostof the rules taught to those entering the industry. I cannot see where my career begins and ends; I am professionally myself.
Your public persona is one of positivity. What is your secret to remaining upbeat?
Practice. Believe it or not, while I am very optimistic, a barrage of hectic negative factors over the last few years – which impacted many of us – has meant I have had to learn how to reset myself. It has become as fundamental to my pre-work routine as showering and dressing.
Gratitude is the practical key that short-circuits the negative neural network. While on the highway onramp, it starts with a list of what I am grateful for. It manifests by my final off-ramp 4km away, with an uninhibited smile and adrenaline firing up my system. It can be small, nuanced, or grateful for being alive and in the fight on the darkest days. Still, the bottom line in positivity is fitness.
What is the best part of being you?
It’s a wild ride that has always felt like a full-on Hollywood movie, with the craziness of my on-air life matched or even surpassed by the even more unbelievable moments in my journey that come from being as open-minded, prepared and flexible as I am – perfect for someone like me who has a 3-second attention span. I’m sure a little less so for the fantastic family and friends who contend with me.
Bigger picture, while I have to wake up every day grappling with the problems of about a million people who I dearly love, which in the context of SA is pretty taxing for an empath like me, I have been the custodian of life-changing moments for so many others, even the activator; I can track my impact through thousands of positive threads, what a privilege.
What are you most grateful for?
My family, in particular my children. I never knew my father, so becoming one has always been a gift I can’t fully wrap my head around. I saw my mother overcome insurmountable challenges, which has become my mindset and inability to accept defeat and always look for a way forward. In recent years, my kids have given me the strength or sheer force of will to power that emotion and overcome seemingly impossible odds.
You are known to be passionate about exercise. Tell us a bit about your workout routine.
For most of my life, I have been driven by a martial arts and fighter mindset and training regime, having fortunately been able to train various martial arts over the years. After my spinal op in the first few weeks of COVID-19 (2 weeks after my daughter was born!) I woke up in another person’s body and reality; every step since then has been about rebuilding my body and mind.
Thankfully, it has allowed me to start the second half of my physical journey in life. In many ways, I am far stronger now than when I was running up mountains with weights strapped to me. Now, my routine consists of many core and rehab-related exercises, maintenance, and limbering up enough to remain physically in my kids’ life, another primary motivator.
How has this changed as you have become older and a family man?
I no longer look to exercise for aesthetics and the endorphins. It is now part of a far more nuanced understanding of my body and vital to my continuous pain management. Thankfully, a lifetime of martial arts has given me the tools to rebuild where, sadly, the Western medical system, and facilities, fail and continue to degrade. I have met an entire community on a similar path who weren’t as fortunate as I’ve been.
Considering how times have changed, do you feel there is a lot more pressure on men in today’s life?
Perhaps not more pressure than in the past, just so many more ways of understanding and focusing on it and its repercussions. While that means a lot less space for denial and just soldiering on until mental or physical failure, for many, it’s a much rawer experience of life. Still, thankfully, so many more of us are processing what we are going through, letting go of our baggage, and hopefully not just handing it down to our kids.
How do you do to handle challenges?
Until they are done, I don’t give myself another option. While I am grossly oversimplifying, from the many learnings of those far more enlightened than myself, failure is not a beginning or an end; it’s just an indication of the next step, and unless you are constantly failing, you are not moving forward or growing at all. The marker of the most successful people I have met is that they don’t see failure any more.
Since becoming a family man (married with kids), how have your goals/priorities changed?
Marriage has been amazing as Linds and I are transforming daily because of the motivation to be better for each other and together and much more for our kids; we now worktowards self-development. Our children are our priority; that contextualises everything else.
Describe your parenting style.
I am very emotional (big feelings in this family) and try not to switch that off with my kids.
I drive my kids crazy because a (very lengthy) monologue generally follows every moment of learning, which may even be worse than hiding or more severe punishment, but processing is vital for kids and where many of my biggest mental and emotional challenges were carried over from my childhood. I’m getting it wrong, and a few steps behind, but that’s parenting.
What is something you want to pass on to your kids?
While self-belief and resilience have kept me in the fight, empathy and connecting with others has been where the real magic and love happens, so definitely that.
What is the most surprising thing about parenthood?
That someone as immature and downright odd compared to most is allowed to do the job and, in fact, is exceptionally well-suited for it. And to get deep because we’ve kind of gone there already (and this is only recent to this season of my life), I am, in fact, not my father or doomed to follow his path, or my mother for that matter, and that I can break the cycles we no longer need in our lives.
What is the key to having a successful family life?
In our journey, you are learning to diminish judgment and take the time to build an arsenal of practical, emotional tools to be better equipped not to react before the higher thinking has kicked in. From a father’s perspective, something that has become a bit of a True North for me: don’t expect your son to be the man you wish you were or are still striving to be.
Looking back at your life, what would you tell 21-year-old you?
Buckle up, young man. It’s going to get crazy (or even crazier than it’s already been)! And when it gets more challenging than you can imagine, don’t worry; your kids are waiting to meet you on the other side. And then it’ll get even crazier!
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Graeme’s faves
Fave food: Steak x 1 000 000
Fave destination: The next one I am yet to discover, especially with my family.
Fave movie: My movie is Impossible to decide, but probably the same as my favourite books, Lord of the Rings and Dune (1&2).
Fave activity: Kung-fu
Fave memory: The birth of my kids and my wedding (absolutely epic).
