Gone are the days when being a dad meant little more than bringing home the bacon and laying down the law. Across South Africa and the world, fatherhood is being reimagined and reclaimed.
Today’s modern dad is trading the briefcase for the baby sling, learning lullabies, and showing up for the big (and small) moments of early childhood.
From Provider to Present Parent
“There’s a slow but steady shift in how we view fatherhood,” says Lereko Mfono, Project Coordinator for the Fathers Matter campaign by Heartlines, a South African social change organisation that uses storytelling to inspire positive values.
“Growing research now focuses on the role of fathers as active caregivers, not just providers,” he says. In cities and townships alike, more fathers are embracing hands-on parenting, changing nappies, reading bedtime stories, and attending school events. They’re redefining what it means to be a “good dad.”
Fathers Matter has worked extensively with early childhood development (ECD) centres to equip educators and communities with tools to engage fathers more intentionally. “The awareness is growing,” Lereko explains. “And we’re seeing real impact on the ground.”
Why a Father’s Presence Matters
Science supports what many have always known: fathers matter deeply in a child’s emotional and developmental journey. The early years are particularly crucial.
“A child’s brain develops more during the first five years than at any other stage in life,” says Lereko. “A father’s positive presence during this time contributes significantly to emotional regulation and secure attachment.”
Simply put, when dads are loving, playful, and consistent, children thrive.
Busting Fatherhood Myths
Despite this progress, outdated ideas still linger. Lereko points to three of the most common myths:
- “Fathers only provide financially.”
- “Caregiving is the mother’s job.”
- “Fathers aren’t needed in the early years.”
“These stereotypes create emotional distance and discourage dads from fully engaging with their children,” he says. “One of the most harmful beliefs is that babies only need their mothers. That’s simply not true.”
A Cultural Shift Is Underway
While change isn’t always fast, it is happening. “We’re seeing more diverse and realistic portrayals of fatherhood in the media,” says Lereko. Community-driven initiatives and national campaigns are challenging harmful narratives and celebrating involved dads.
Government and advocacy groups are also stepping up. Events like International Day of the Boy Child now recognise the importance of positive male role models and the role of father figures in shaping the next generation.
Real Barriers Remain
However, not all fathers have equal opportunities to be present. In communities facing poverty and unemployment, many dads feel they can’t provide, and therefore withdraw.
“In single-parent households, which are statistically high in South Africa, especially among working-class communities, the role of a father is still linked almost entirely to provision,” says Lereko. “If he can’t bring in an income, he may feel he doesn’t have a place in his child’s life.”
Even in two-parent households, some men struggle. “Many fathers don’t know how to be involved,” he says. “They didn’t have role models themselves.”
Changing the Narrative Through Media
Lereko sees encouraging shifts in digital and traditional media spaces.
“On platforms like radio and podcasts, men are having honest conversations about what it means to father well. They’re reflecting on how they were raised and how they want to raise their children differently.”
Still, he says, some TV shows and ads continue to stereotype or shame men who don’t fit traditional roles. “That narrative needs to change.”
Support for New Dads, Right at Their Fingertips
For dads who want to show up more but don’t know where to start, Lereko recommends starting small and using accessible tools.
The Fathers Matter Coach is one of them, a free WhatsApp-based guide offering practical tips, encouragement, and advice for engaged fatherhood. “It’s bite-sized, accessible, and tailored for everyday South African dads,” says Lereko.
Learn more at www.fatherscoach.co.za.
Fathers Matter also works with over 100 organisations across South Africa to build a supportive ecosystem for dads, from ECD educators to faith-based groups, NGOs, and media partners.
Fatherhood Is Changing, For Good
Modern fatherhood is no longer about dominance or distance, it’s about presence, care, and connection. The tide is turning. Whether it’s holding tiny hands on the walk to crèche, tackling the night shift with a bottle in hand, or offering emotional support during difficult moments, today’s dads are reshaping what it means to parent.
As Lereko puts it: “The construction of fatherhood is changing. And with every story, every hug, and every nappy changed, we’re building something better.”
