Don’t compare. Let children blossom at their own pace

Every child develops uniquely. Children thrive when parents and caregivers allow time and space for growth without pressure. Occupational therapist Marele Venter urges families to focus on safe, nurturing environments rather than rushing milestones.

Development thrives when adults support social and emotional well-being and avoid constant comparison.

Why milestones should guide, not pressure

Developmental milestones track progress across five areas: gross motor, fine motor, language, cognitive, and social-emotional skills. The National Library of Medicine explains that milestones serve as general markers. They do not act as a race or a strict checklist.

“Parents often compare their child’s progress to others, which leads to unnecessary anxiety,” says Venter. “Pushing development too early disrupts exploration and mastery.”

Rising anxiety in young children

Venter has observed an increase in pre-school and foundation phase children showing school-related and performance anxiety over the past decade.

Joha-Nita Jordaan, clinic divisional manager at Dis-Chem Baby City, supports this view. She explains milestones act as flexible guidelines. Forcing early achievement affects language, comprehension, and social interaction.

The risk of pushing too hard, too soon

Experts warn against developing “splinter skills.” These emerge when abilities grow in isolation, without a strong foundation.

A University of Washington study found excessive exposure to baby videos slowed vocabulary growth in infants aged eight to 16 months. Baby equipment, such as walking rings, also interferes with motor development by limiting natural movement and exploration.

Simple play and emotionally present caregiving support attention, impulse control, and self-regulation.

Social pressure and milestone comparison

Jordaan cautions against treating milestones as bragging rights. Statements comparing early walkers to children who reach milestones later create anxiety. Social pressure, often reinforced by education systems, leaves parents and children feeling inadequate.

Four ways to support healthy development

Regular check-ups matter
In South Africa, every baby receives a Road to Health book. This tracks milestones and immunisations. Routine check-ups allow healthcare professionals to monitor progress.

If concerns arise, parents should speak to a nurse or paediatrician. Early intervention supports better outcomes. ECD practitioners at daycare or nursery school also play a key role in identifying concerns.

Create a stimulating environment
The first 33 months shape brain development. Babies need consistent, loving relationships to feel safe and regulate emotions. Each developmental stage matters. Attentive caregiving supports healthy growth.

Skin-to-skin contact builds security
Close physical contact helps babies feel supported and secure. Eye contact, smiling, cuddling, rocking, talking, and singing strengthen emotional bonds. Bath time and nappy changes offer ideal moments for connection.

Play and interaction support learning
Play helps children understand the world. Talking, singing, and reading support speech and language development. Floor time, tummy time, and crawling build strength and coordination. Hands-on play supports sensory development.

Respecting each stage of development allows children to grow with confidence. When parents step back from comparison, children gain space to thrive on their own terms.