Mental health and the NICU mum

A neonatal intensive care unit feels different the moment you enter. The space stays quiet and clinical. Machines beep softly while supporting the smallest lives. What often goes unseen is the emotional toll carried by mothers standing beside those incubators.

For many mums of premature or unwell babies, NICU becomes more than a place of healing. It brings fear, hope, and heartbreak all at once. Research shows up to 70% of NICU mums experience anxiety or depression. Many continue to show signs of post-traumatic stress disorder long after taking their baby home.

“Having a baby in NICU is one of the most emotionally isolating experiences a mother can face,” says Sr Londe, independent midwife and trusted advisor to Vital Baby South Africa. “You’re told to be strong and hold it together, but inside you feel scared and powerless.”

When mental health struggles begin immediately

Unlike postnatal depression, which often develops weeks or months after birth, NICU-related mental health challenges often start right away. Medical uncertainty, guilt, and the shock of not caring for your baby as expected can hit fast.

“You may only touch your baby for a few minutes at a time,” says Sr Londe. “That separation affects bonding and confidence.”

Early motherhood in NICU looks nothing like the imagined version. Skin-to-skin moments give way to schedules, medical briefings, and parenting through wires and monitors. Feeling overwhelmed becomes common.

The signs many mums dismiss

Emotional numbness, poor sleep even when your baby is stable, replaying frightening moments, or feeling disconnected from your baby often signal trauma or depression. Many mothers push these feelings aside.

“There’s still stigma around maternal mental health,” says Sr Londe. “We need to normalise these conversations and remind mothers they are not alone.”

NICU mums often feel pressure to stay positive and grateful, even while struggling internally.

Why asking for help matters

Support changes outcomes. Speaking with a healthcare provider, joining a support group, or working with a therapist trained in perinatal mental health helps recovery. Many hospitals now offer peer support, connecting current NICU parents with families who have been through the same experience.

“It’s okay to need help,” says Sr Londe. “You are not failing as a mother. You are processing an extraordinary experience.”

Behind the glass, alongside the machines and medical care, stands a mother doing her best. Her well-being deserves the same attention.